Whether it’s a job interview, launching your business, meeting someone on a date for the first time, or raising kids, we’ve all been there. We questioned our ability to make the right decision. Self-doubt usually floods our thoughts when we’re in a challenging or new situation. In my experience, it manifests through worrying, panicking, and selling myself short.
When you’re feeling like me and doubting your capabilities, it can feel like you’re in a battle with yourself. Sometimes you might have a voice in your head telling you that an opportunity is too good to be true, or that it’s something that doesn’t happen to the likes of you. You might hear yourself thinking:
“You’re just going to embarrass yourself.”
“You are not good enough.”
“You are bound to fail because you are not that smart.”
When you frequently deal with self doubt, leaving it unrealized and unchecked can be harrowing and dangerous. Cautiousness is not bad, but just like everything else, it can be harmful if overdone. When feelings of uncertainty are holding you hostage, you can miss opportunities by letting doubt overpower you. Even if you prefer your comfort zone, staying there will prevent you from reaching your full potential. So, this has to stop as early as possible. It will keep you stuck, with your time wasted and your chances possibly gone.
How to Stop Self-Doubt
So what causes it? Why is self-doubt a common occurrence?
Feelings of self doubt develop for a lot of reasons. One of the most common causes is past mistakes. Heartbreaks and work-related disappointments are an example of this. Somehow, when you experience frustrations, you try to build a wall to forestall future pains. Another cause is your upbringing which shaped your point-of-view, beliefs, habits, and personality. Fear of failure or success is a reason that is connected to comparing your life or performance with others. New challenges keep you on your toes in both your professional and personal life.
Even most experts experience self-doubt. The famous painter Vincent Van Gogh is said to be the epitome of self-doubt. He was posthumously recognized. I’ve read this quote by him “If you hear a voice within you say ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” His self-doubt is apparent in his works that show angst. It is often called the Imposter Syndrome, which is known to affect newbies and professionals alike. The internalized fear of not having the right skillsets and talents can make or break opportunities. I had my fair share of stories about this, and I’ll share with you some tips on how to stop self-doubt.
Stay in the Present
As I mentioned above, one possible cause of self-doubt is past experiences. When you’re in a relatively similar situation, an opportunity comes around, and your mind goes back to the past with apprehensions. What you can do is muster the courage to tell yourself STOP. Ground yourself and focus on what’s in the present moment. It is challenging but doable. You can save affirmations on your laptop or phone.
I am worthy.
I am enough.
I’ll start appreciating myself.
I’ll find prosperous ideas and efficiently act on them.
Aside from this, you can set up an inspiration board with photos of things and people that make you smile. Prepare your favorite snacks and play the music that makes you excited.
Change your Perspective about Mistakes
Mistakes are part and parcel of being human. We doubt our capabilities because we want to give our best, and we don’t leave any room for mistakes. What you need to remember is that it’s a solid ground for improvement and growth. Learning curves is essential in understanding life better. Everyone’s authentic self comes with unpopular decisions and wrong choices made.
Call Out Your Inner Critic
Your doubt is not the absolute truth. Challenge your reasons, practice self compassion, and be your good friend. If your inner critic is rearing its not-so-pretty head, write it a letter. Tell that voice that you’re in control and you are taking the reigns.
Embrace Discomfort
New things, new situations, new people can make you feel weird and uncomfortable. It’s part of growth. So, use that feeling as a gauge of your improvement. Maybe keep a journal where you list down what you’re feeling, then check your progress at the end of the week or month. Adjust your standard. Embrace learning. If you’re new to the position, then strive to be the best newbie there is. Spend time to set a timetable, then adjust your following goals.
Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is inevitable at times. It’s part of human nature to take a peek at what other people have accomplished, what they gained, what they’re doing. Often, you forget that everyone has their path, and you can’t control some things. However, you can control what you feel and how you will act on something. It won’t change overnight, but as soon as you begin consciously trying to stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll begin to see that it is possible to overcome self doubt.
Try Journaling
Journaling is an under-utilized practice that is proven to improve your well-being. When you think of ways to practice self-care, journaling isn’t probably something you thought of right away, if even at all. But there are too many benefits to not at least give it a chance. As you work on overcoming self-doubt, try incorporating journaling into your daily routine. It can be as simple as writing down a few things you’re thankful for as soon as you wake up. You can also use it to gain a better understanding of where your feelings of self doubt stem from by writing down the situations that cause you to doubt yourself the most and identifying a potential pattern.
Remember That Progress is Not Linear
Some days, you ran out of creative ideas and plateau, and there are days when it’s abundant. Progress is the same, highs and lows, and often, this is not what you see on social media. It’s the winning seasons that take over almost everyone’s news feed, but it’s an open secret that life is not without bumps and humps. So, yes, it’s okay to be frustrated but always remember to pick your thoughts up. Accept that progress is complex. There are things about it that you can work on, and there are those that you can’t. Just keep on putting yourself out there. And embrace the imperfections of progress. Look at it as an adventure.
Seek Help if Needed
If you think working on your own is no longer cutting it, don’t hesitate to ask for support from a family member, friends, mentors, coaches, or a mental health specialist. Self-doubt can sometimes get the better of you, but that can be addressed.
However, for all the negative connotations linked to self-doubt, it also serves its purpose in self-actualization. When you doubt your abilities, you can turn that struggle into an opportunity to learn. When there’s a job opening that you’ve been eyeing for years, self-doubt motivates you to prepare. It keeps you learning because it opens your mind to possible vulnerabilities. Humility is another positive outcome of healthy self-doubt. It keeps you grounded and more attuned to situations and the people around you. In a turnabout way, it helps you build confidence.
Doubt is an essential part of living but don’t give it power. It’s in taking courage, in believing yourself, in stepping out of your comfort zone that you are truly living deeply.
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