Growing up, talking to people was always a major struggle. On one end of the spectrum, my dad could talk with anyone and everyone about anything. On the other side, my Mom was socially awkward and didn’t really get deep in conversation. And she would only speak with someone when they spoke to her first, outside of her work conversations. For me, it was difficult to learn how to do both when growing up with those two sides of the spectrum. Then throw in the idea that you can’t really relate to a lot of people, including family members because you live a different life than they could even imagine. It’s hard to have more than a surface-deep conversation when you don’t have anything to talk about. I’m going to help you learn how to have great conversations with anyone, no matter if they are family or strangers.
How to Have Great Conversations With Anyone
Sometimes, starting a conversation is about as much as you actually saying something as it is about when you don’t say something. There are many things you can do physically to have a great conversation with someone with very few words. Yes, a conversation is about speaking, but it’s also about not speaking. And, a conversation is always two-sided, even if you aren’t physically speaking.
Don’t interrupt (even if you have an amazing story to share)
Oh, I totally get it! It’s so hard to resist the urge to jump in with our own awesome stories, right? But here’s the thing, my friend: it’s super important to let the other person finish what they’re saying. I mean, interrupting can totally throw off their train of thought and make them feel like their voice doesn’t matter. And we definitely don’t want that!
So, here’s the deal: be patient and give them the floor. Let them share their thoughts and ideas without any interruptions. Trust me, it’ll make them feel valued and respected. And who knows, they might even have some epic tales to share that you wouldn’t want to miss out on!
Remember, it’s like that age-old saying goes: “Patience is a virtue.” So, take a deep breath, sip your coffee, and let them have their moment. Trust me, it’ll make for better and more meaningful conversations.
Great Open-Ended Questions
“What life hacks have you found to be particularly effective?”
“What makes a song catchy?”
“What makes your favorite place you’ve been better than all the other places you’ve been to?”
“What is your favorite type of vacation and why?”
“What makes you get up and keep doing what you do daily?”
These are a few questions to get your mind going for having a great conversation with anyone you meet. Asking questions that move the conversation along comfortably is half of the battle, it’s important to also include these next tips into your conversation to have great conversations with anyone. A conversation is two or more people actively exchanging ideas, sentiments, or observations. And its quality can also determine the quality of their relationships. That’s why paying attention from the time they start talking until the end is important. It makes a lot of difference in a conversation. Listening to them makes a lot of people feel seen and deeply heard.
Paying Attention
There are many ways to improve your ability to focus on what other people are saying, not just verbally but also through their behavior. Your body language shows the sincerity of your intent. Seriously, don’t multitask while having a serious conversation if you know you’re going to struggle! If you’re in the middle of a task, you can stop. It will let them know that you are giving them your undivided attention. If you are a multi-tasker, doing a task and having a conversation with someone is possible. As long as you can show through your responses that you are giving them enough attention, then you’re good. If this is a challenge, let someone know that you have an important task to finish; that way, you can fully give your attention once you’re done.
Clearing your mind at the onset of the conversation can help you focus too. Compartmentalize your thoughts. If it’s about work or stuff at home, practice mental focus so you won’t miss important details conveyed by other people.
Active Listening
Choose a conversation starter that everyone in the discussion can relate to. Make it a safe space for every to express their opinion. Ask good questions.
If they said something you don’t understand, ask them to repeat and explain it further so you won’t miss the entire point of what they are telling you. You don’t want them to think you don’t care!
Confirming statements is also a good idea. You can reiterate what they said, and this gives them the chance to clarify and minimize misunderstanding as well as awkward silences.
Don’t Pontificate
We all have opinions, and that’s great! It’s totally cool to have opinions – in fact, that’s what makes talking with others such a rich and rewarding experience!
But we want to make sure that we’re not hogging the spotlight or dominating the discussion. After all, nobody likes a conversation hog. We want to create a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas, and that means being open to learning from others.
So let’s remember to give everyone a chance to express themselves and keep the conversation flowing in a friendly and approachable atmosphere.
Establishing Eye Contact
Steady eye contact can turn simple small talk into a meaningful conversation. The frequency of eye contact can help everyone feel good, and it encourages engagement. It also shows integrity, that you can look the person in the eye because you got nothing to hide.
It has many meanings and can establish the tone and the direction of the conversation. The eyes express emotions that sometimes spoken words can. Most importantly, it’s with direct eye contact that you can make a point. On the other hand, it’s also an indication that you are a good listener.
Although it could be awkward at times, in which it feels uncomfortable, there are ways to get around it. Practice 3-5 seconds of eye contact if it’s a bit of a challenge. Think of it as building a connection and interest in the other person. This is a means of telling them that they matter and that what they are saying is worth discussing.
Stay Out of the Weeds
Now, here’s an important tip to keep in mind during your conversations – stay out of the weeds! What exactly does that mean? Basically, it’s all about avoiding getting bogged down in details that aren’t all that important or going off on tangents that distract from the main topic.
We want to keep things flowing smoothly so we can get to the heart of the matter. It’s like when you’re chatting with a friend over coffee – you don’t want to get stuck on one topic and miss out on all the other good stuff you could be talking about, right?
Remember, we want to keep the conversation flowing smoothly, so let’s stick to the main topic at hand.
Responding Positively
If there are differences in opinions, choose the most diplomatic way to address them. There’s also always the option of agreeing to disagree. Respect is part of interesting responses. You can turn the conversation around by asking how you can help them. And don’t forget to express your joy or excitement if the other person shares something remarkable in their life.
The good ol’ wit and humor are another treasure trove of responding positively. It’s a good icebreaker that can lead to better conversations.
Be Genuinely Curious
So, when it comes to having a meaningful conversation, it’s all about embracing your curiosity. You know, that burning desire to know more about the other person you’re talking to? Well, that’s the secret sauce to making a conversation truly awesome!
Imagine you’re sitting down for a coffee chat with a good friend. You’d naturally show interest in their life, right? Well, it’s the same principle here. Get curious about their passions, experiences, and what makes them tick. Ask them questions, and when they answer, don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper. Show them that you genuinely want to know more. It’s like unwrapping a present – the more curiosity you bring to the table, the more amazing things you’ll discover!
And guess what? Curiosity is like a superpower when it comes to conversations. It creates a connection, makes the other person feel valued, and opens up new doors of understanding. So, embrace your inner detective, my friend, and let your curiosity guide you to amazing conversations.
Be Vulnerable
It may sound a bit intimidating, but trust me, it’s a superpower in disguise. When you let your guard down and share your own vulnerabilities and experiences, it creates this amazing safe space for others to do the same.
And guess what? That’s where the magic happens.
So don’t be afraid to show a little vulnerability, friend. It’s like a secret code that deepens your connection with others and lets them know that you’re human too. After all, we all have our quirks and insecurities, right? Go ahead and twist that fear into a powerful tool, and don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable.
Embrace it, own it, and watch as your conversations become a whole lot more meaningful. It can really deepen your connection with others.
In this day and age of the digital platform, a good conversation is a breath of fresh air. The tips above will definitely help you achieve those, and they come to you naturally by practicing in every conversation. And while you speak to convey ideas, do not forget that the art of active listening and proactive responding means focusing not only on yourself but your relationship with whoever you are having a nice conversation with.
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