Let’s be real honest here: the concept of how to get kids to clean without a fight not only seems like a pipe dream – it’s near laughable at this point. Your kids cleaning up WITHOUT fighting you and it turning into a screaming battle? HA!
But I’m here to tell you that it IS possible, as long as you approach it the right way.
I’d like to think that we have this pretty down at this point. But fair warning: this is not a quick fix. This is a long-term game that requires commitment.
But a few months from now, you’ll be so happy that you did it. You might even have your preschooler jumping up to clean without you saying anything! (Yes, it’s possible!)
If you’re in the same spot I was – ready to pull your hair out, tired of the screaming battles, and giving up to just do it yourself but pretty annoyed by the fact… keep reading.
I get you and I see you mama – it’s hard. But it doesn’t have to be. There is a better way.
How to Get Kids to Clean without a Fight
Ready for the tips to help you get your kids to clean without a power struggle? Let’s get to it.
Set clear expectations
First things first – you absolutely have to set clear expectations. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for,
So how do you start setting those expectations? There are a couple ways.
Communicate the rules
The first thing you need to do is to set and start communicating the rules. You need to decide what this looks like for your family as everyone different.
Cleaning rules in our house look like this:
- If you pull out a toy, it needs to be put away before another one is brought out
- Help make a mess, you help clean it up too
- Toys must be picked up before transitioning to something else
They’re pretty simple, but they work! It takes time to understand and start following the rules, but set the expectation and keep reminding them. Eventually they will pick it up once it becomes a normal thing.
Follow a routine or schedule
Once you’ve outlined and communicated the rules for cleaning up, make sure you have a routine or schedule to follow. This goes back to the consistency I talked about.
We generally clean up toys at these times:
- After engaging in a block of open play time
- Before we sit down for each meal
- Before we go outside
These are the general rules to support the fact that life happens. Sometimes we are in a rush out the door, sometimes I just NEED the kids to get outside, and sometimes it’s something else completely. Create your routine in a way that allows life to happen.
But you also need an environment that makes this EASY. Which brings me to the next point…
Organize the environment
A play area that is randomly thrown together makes cleaning up insanely hard. (It makes playing hard too!) You
There are a few ways to do this that I have found very helpful.
Avoid random tubs of toys
Toy bins and toy boxes are the WORST thing you can have in a play room. This is where toys go to die and a guarantee for huge messes in minimal time.
All it takes is for one kid to remember that one McDonald’s toy from 6 weeks ago that is now buried at the bottom. They get frustrated that they can’t find it so what happens? ALL THE TOYS ARE ON THE FLOOR.
They dump a bin, pour arm fulls of toys on the floor, and everything in between. Then they complain when they have to clean up a giant pile of random toys that is VERY overwhelming.
Let’s just avoid that all together by avoiding the random tub of toys situation.
So what should you do instead? I’ll explain.
Utilize organizational supplies
There’s endless possibilities as to how to organize a playroom – just search Pinterest and you’ll see all that comes up! You’ll need to decide exactly how you want to set it up, but I HIGHLY encourage utilizing lots of organizational supplies to make things easy.
Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
- Small bins that are clearly labeled with its contents
- Cube shelving units with easy to access toys
- Shelving for books to keep them off the floor
- Rolling carts for things like art supplies
Give everything a spot
Easily the MOST important tip I can give you. If nothing has a spot, you’ll hear a lot of “I don’t know where it
Organizing the space will help a lot – but make sure everything has a spot. Avoid randomly throwing things somewhere because you don’t know what else to do with it.
Get more organizational supplies, if needed.
Provide support
Now that you got the boundaries set and creating an environment that’s easy for cleaning up, it’s time to actually implement! Be patient as it will take a while for kids to transition to doing things this way.
Explain the importance of a clean space
First and foremost – explain the importance of a clean space. “Because mom said so” is not a great reason and that won’t help them develop good cleaning habits.
Instead, explain to them that cleaning several times throughout the day helps avoid big messes. You can also explain that we FEEL BETTER once it’s done. We feel calmer (mental health is a HUGE focus in our home) and we will have more room to play later.
Make it a fun game
Cleaning is BORING – especially to kids. While us adults can push through it, expecting a child to do the same will lead to some problems during clean up. Set the expectation to find ways to ENJOY it.
We like to do things like:
- Have a dance party while we clean up together
- See who can get it done the fastest (and award the winner)
- Play freeze and see who can get more done in each burst
- Set a timer and try to beat the clock
Get creative and I’m sure you can figure out all sorts of ways to make cleaning more fun for kids!
Direct them when they are struggling
Sometimes it can be a real struggle to get everything cleaned up. If it’s a big mess, it can be overwhelming to look at. Start by directing them to do a very specific action.
We always start with picking up blocks so I will instruct them to grab the block bag and fill it up. When they’re done, I’ll tell them to put all the dolls in their spot. After we gain momentum, they are much more likely to keep going on their own.
Unfortunately, things won’t go perfect every time – as much as we want them to. Which leads me to one last reminder…
Pick your battles
It is VITAL to remember to pick your battles. Some days are harder than others and it’s important to remember that kids are just tiny humans with bigger emotions and less understanding of the world around them.
Be gentle with yourself and your children.
Avoid power struggles
Power struggles are the WORST trap to get into. You’re yelling because you feel like you need to maintain control and your child is dead set on NOT doing anything purely because they’re testing you.
This cycle can repeat for HOURS if you let it, too.
Instead, try your best to support your child and follow their lead in regards to how they’re feeling and make adjustments as you go to support them in the process. (Knowing your child’s love language can help too!)
Know when to offer your help
To stem off that, pay attention to your child and know when they truly need your help. Acts of defiance can oftentimes be something else entirely. Maybe they’re struggling with some STRONG emotions. Maybe they had a really hard day. And maybe they just need a chance to relax. Or maybe they want to spend time with you instead of doing it alone.
If it would be easier on BOTH of you to step in and help them and showcase teamwork… do it. Once in a while certainly isn’t going to hurt anything.
Final thoughts
Getting your kids to clean can be a real challenge- but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re struggling to get your older kids to help around the house, try teaching them the proper way to clean. Show them how to dust, vacuum, and properly load the dishwasher. You can even turn it into a game by timing them to see who can finish first. For young children, lend a hand and make it into a fun activity. Play some music and dance around as you tidy up together. Cleaning doesn’t have to be a chore, and with a little creativity it can be something that the whole family enjoys.
Start by setting clear expectations by communicating the rules and following a solid routine so your child knows what to expect. It also helps to setup the environment so that cleaning happens easily.
When you start cleaning, offer your support by communicating and directing them when they seem to be having a hard time. Get creative and find ways to turn cleaning into a game!
At the end of the day, you also need to pick your battles and know when it’s time to offer you help.
So next time you’re feeling frustrated, remember these tips and enjoy a clean home without all the fuss.
Do you have any tips on how to get kids to clean without fighting? Comment them below!
Recent Comments