15 Effective Tips for How to Avoid Holiday Depression

by ajohnson | Jan 1, 2021 | Blog, Life, Opinion

Some people aren’t able to enjoy the holiday season due to feelings of stress and depression. These 15 tips on how to avoid holiday depression will help you to enjoy this holiday season.

It’s that wonderful time of the year…well, honestly it’s not such a wonderful time of the year for everyone. Present among the shopping, parties, baking, extra cooking, and entertaining lurk unwanted guests for some people: stress and depression.

Each year, a lot of people experience sadness and depression around the holiday season due to the stress of all the hustle and bustle as well as the expectation to be feeling merry and generous.

Instead of enjoying the holiday season, they dread it.

However, if this sounds like you, know that there are some really practical tips to help you minimize those feelings so you can cope with holiday blues and stresses more than you thought you would. 

15 Effective Tips for How to Avoid Holiday Depression

Causes of Holiday Depression

If you already struggle during the holiday season, seeing others feeling merry and bright might make you feel more like an outsider and make this time of year even more challenging.

As women tend to carry the burden of shopping, gift wrapping, planning holiday events, organizing family get togethers, and other responsibilities, more women tend to feel more holiday stress and depression during the holiday season than men do.

However, there are lots of reasons why people may feel more stressed and depressed than cheerful during the holidays, including:

• Finances – spending money when finances are tight is definitely a big reason why many people feel stressed rather than merry. Not being able to afford gifts or holiday events can be devastating.
• Stress – the stress of shopping and planning gatherings on top of everything else during the busy holiday season can cause high levels of stress which can zap the fun out the entire season.
• Grief – losing a loved one during the year can be especially painful around the holidays for anyone, but that’s especially true for seniors. It’s normal to feel sadness around the holidays if you have lost someone during the year.
• Estrangement – if you aren’t currently speaking to certain family members or friends, holiday gatherings can cause feelings of sadness, resentment, and guilt to rise to the surface.
• Separation or Divorce – for anyone who’s newly separated or divorced, the holidays can be especially sad if they remind you of happier times. This situation is even more stressful for adult children who have to balance seeing multiple sets of parents.
• Loneliness – for anyone who is single or lives alone, the holidays can be depressing as they see others enjoying time with their families.
• SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder causes many people to feel depressed due to the lack of sunlight. Other medical conditions can have an impact and cause holiday stress as well.

How To Avoid Holiday Depression

Now that you know the main causes of holiday stress and depression, here are some helpful tips for avoiding potential triggers and coping with the holiday blues.

Making Plans in Advance

Waiting until the last minute to make plans causes stress about the uncertainty of the future. Instead, make plans ahead of time so you know where and with whom you’ll be spending your holidays.

Shopping Early

Putting off shopping adds enormous stress – especially when you need to ship packages to loved ones. Shopping early (even before Thanksgiving) helps you avoid the shopping crunch and gives you plenty of time for gift wrapping.

Make a Budget and Stick to it

Finances are one of the biggest holiday depression triggers, so take a little time to make a plan that helps avoid adding additional stress to the season. 

Before you do any shopping, decide how much you can afford (or want) to spend and stick to that budget. While the season is about giving, that doesn’t mean you need to buy happiness with gifts. Instead, come up with amazing gift giving alternatives, such as making some easy DIY gifts.

Asking for Help From Friends and Family Members

Women tend to feel like they need to do everything to make the holidays special. Instead, try asking for help from family members, kids, and even friends. Many hands make light work – and allow more time for fun which reduces stress.

Be Realistic

Your highly annoying cousin or extremely opinionated and political uncle won’t suddenly be the opposite of what they have always been, and the holidays don’t need to be perfect. Tread carefully when it comes to setting expectations and err on the side of not having any. 

If you can simply remain open to new experiences and new holiday traditions, it will alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that many feel around trying to make the holiday season “picture perfect”. 

Taking Time to Slow Down and Rest

When times are hectic and busy, we can end up running “on empty” before we know it. When times get busy, it’s extra important to make time for rest and relaxation. You’ll avoid feeling depleted, which will naturally leave you feeling better.

Practice Self-Care

Restorative routines are those routines that help you replenish and feel your best. They’re even more important during the holidays than normal. Schedule in time to read a book, watch a favorite movie, take a nap, or anything else that helps you feel your best.

Ditch Social Media

A lot of people on social media tend to only portray the very best things. They don’t show the stress or exhaustion they feel – only the Pinterest perfect decorations and smiling faces. It can be too easy to compare what we are feeling inside to the way that people look on the outside and feeling even worse that the two don’t equal each other. 

If you feel yourself doing this and feeling worse after being on social media, take a break from social media until after the holiday season. 

Spending Time to Reflect

If you have been through something particularly difficult, allow yourself time to reflect and even grieve, if needed. Allow yourself to feel your feelings because pushing them down only leads to more depression.

Avoid Family Conflicts

Family gatherings and dynamics can be a huge trigger during the holidays. Try to set aside differences. When that’s not enough, avoid family conflicts by changing the subject, helping in the kitchen, escaping to the bathroom, or hanging out with the kids. 

Embrace the Power of No

Many people feel like they need to say yes to every event, idea, or activity. If you really want to say no but say yes instead, you are likely to feel overwhelmed, resentful, stressed, or exhausted (or a combination of these feelings). 

There is absolutely no reason why you need to participate in every event or take on extra responsibility if it’s too much for you. Pay attention to what you’re needing and follow that.

Reach Out

The worst thing you can do when you’re experiencing holiday stress or blues, is to isolate yourself. Get together with friends, participate in community events, support groups, social media sites, or even just reach out and chat with a friend if you need a shoulder to lean on.

Give Your Time and Talents

Research has shown that helping others helps us too. If you’re feeling depressed or lonely during the holiday season, try volunteering to help those in need. You just might find joy and satisfaction in it.

Continue Your Healthy Habits

It’s a common practice to give into overindulgence over the holidays. If you really want to feel your best so that stress and depression don’t take over the season for you, maintain your healthy habits. Continue doing things like:

• Get enough sleep
• Eat healthy food choices at meal times
• Enjoy a healthy and filling snack before going to holiday gatherings so that you don’t overindulge on unhealthy food choices
• Get regular exercise

Get Help From a Professional

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you may continue to feel bad. If those feelings continue, please seek help from your doctor or a mental health professional. With help, you will feel better.

How to Avoid Holiday Depression – Final Thoughts

Everyone feels stressed at the holidays, right? Well, to some degree that might be true. Be on the lookout for these symptoms:

• Sadness
• Irritability
• Extreme fatigue
• Feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
• Guilt
• Loss of interest in normal activities
• Crying
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in sleep or appetite

If you experience these symptoms, your stress and holiday depression might actually be a more serious mental illness. If these symptoms persist more than a few weeks, please seek diagnosis or treatment from your doctor or mental health professional so that you can get back to feeling like yourself.

Even if the holidays have taken their toll on you in the past, that doesn’t mean that will be the case every year. Use these tips to avoid holiday depression to practice self-care so that you can feel better – and maybe even enjoy – this holiday season.

New Puppies – What Kind to Get

by ajohnson | Oct 28, 2020 | Blog, Life, Opinion

So you’re getting a new puppy. Whether it was quarantine that made you want a new companion or your kids finally reaching an age where they can have some shared responsibility, you have some important decisions to make. Undoubtedly, family members will be anxious to welcome the new addition, but don’t let them rush you. It’s imperative that you weigh your options carefully before bringing Fido home.

The one thing you don’t want to do is make your decision based on how cute a puppy is, rather than what he’s going to be like when he’s four years old.

You want to fall in love today and make sure you are still in love when the cuteness of the puppy wears off.

What Kind of Puppies to Get

New Puppies versus Dogs

Puppies are adorable, but they aren’t all cuddles and kisses. Like children, puppies need to be taught right from wrong; and like children, puppies will lose their baby teeth in order to grow adult ones. The difference is that instead of chewing on a baby toy while teething, your puppy will chew on the leg of your brand new Arhaus coffee table. Consider bringing a fully trained dog into the family. If you have young children constantly pulling you in three different directions, chances are, you won’t have time to take a puppy outside to pee on the grass every hour.

Big Dog Little Dog

Most dogs are little when they’re puppies. But some of those puppies grow to be six pounds, and others grow to be over 75 pounds. A Maltese may not be the best choice for your family if your teenage boys are constantly roughhousing on the floor or playing tackle football in the backyard with their buddies. Likewise, a Saint Bernard isn’t a sensible choice when the home is a walk-up brownstone in Manhattan.On the other hand, sometimes the fun loving gentle giants like a Great Dane are perfect for city life as well as country living. It’s important to sort through the popular dog breeds and the not so popular and find the right dog for you and your family.

Dogs That Are Good with Kids

The Centers for Disease Control states that every year, 4.5 million Americans are bitten by dogs, and about 20 percent of the victims require medical care.

Don’t put yourself or your children in danger by getting a dog that has a bad reputation. Sure, there are plenty of nice Pitt Bulls, but why take the risk? Ask a veterinarian or seek online resources to help you find a dog that will be perfect for your family. Do your homework; it will pay off.

On the other side of the coin, there are several smaller dog breeds that are known to bite because they scare or spook around children. If you want a family dog that loves to play, it might be best to stay away from the smaller dogs, especially if you know your children have energy levels that will outlast the puppy stage of the dog.

Shedding versus Non-Shedding Dogs

Golden Retrievers are beautiful dogs, and they make wonderful pets. But if you get one, expect to find dog hair….everywhere! Many pet owners consider this a minor inconvenience if, in fact, they consider it at all, but some people are more uptight when it comes to sanitation and cleanliness. If having dog hair all over your black sweater makes you cringe, a non-shedding breed might be the way to go. Although most non-shedders do a pretty good job of keeping their fur to themselves, keep in mind higher maintenance is required since brushing and grooming are essential. Dogs with double coats like Bernese Mountain Dogs, French Bulldogs, and Corgis are a few of the dogs that you can expect to see hair on the floor. If you are thinking long haired versus short haired dogs but don’t want the maintenance, consider the Irish Setter, who needs brushed daily to ensure their long hair doesn’t tangle. Other times, short hair isn’t always the best. Our French Bulldog, Louie, who’s shown in these photos, sheds his short hair every time he itches or shakes.

Some Dogs are More Active than Others

Dogs depend on their owners to give them what they need to be healthy, and that includes exercise. If you have a large backyard, you may be able to get away with tossing the tennis ball for a few minutes every day to provide your dog with the activity he needs. But if you live in a house with a tiny yard or an apartment, you will need to walk your dog on a daily basis. All dogs need exercise, but obviously, some need more than others. If your idea of working out is getting off the couch Sunday afternoons to grab a beer during half time, perhaps you should get a Pug instead of an Irish Setter. If you take the dog to obedience training, they often teach a technique or series called a “puppy pushup” which is a series of sit and down several times. This wears them out, and allows city dwellers to have a higher energy pet if they are trained in obedience.

Dog Breeder or Pet Store

Once you’ve made the weighty decision to purchase a new puppy, you need to make an important decision. It’s so tempting to purchase a pet store puppy that fluffy little ball of fun looks at you with his beseeching eyes, and it’s obvious how much he loves to roll around and play rough with the other puppies in the window. Unfortunately, a large number of pet stores obtain puppies from puppy mills where dogs seldom receive the much-needed interaction with humans that they need to form proper dog-human relationships.

Many puppies from puppy mills are taken away from their mother before they should be, giving rise to fearful behavior and anxiety. Seek out a reputable dog breeder in your area and contact them regarding the next available litter. It may cost you more money, and you may have to wait a little longer for your puppy, but it will be worth it. Hopefully, you will have your dog for many years to come, so what’s another 5 or 6 weeks?

Speaking from experience of the puppy store, we got our new pup, Louie, from a puppy store and it was a great experience. Lucky for us, we got Louie a few days after he was transported to the store, and he now gets plenty of human interaction. While I know we could have adopted or searched out a breeder in our area, for us, it was so much more simple to go in and see what we wanted, look online for the pros and cons, and search photos of what the dogs look like as adults and decide. It was a quick decision we don’t regret at all. Louie fits well with his big brother, Champ, and the girls love him too.

Local Dog Shelter Puppy

Consider getting your puppy or dog from the Humane Society or local animal rescue shelter. There are many shelters in cities that people aren’t even aware of. Many “no-kill” shelters foster dogs, puppies, and animals out to caring for foster families until they can be adopted. Be aware that some of these puppies are rescued from puppy mills so they may have some of the same anxiety that puppy mills have, but in many cases, the puppies are rescued young enough to able to form solid bonds with their new families. Oftentimes, the mixed breed puppies are also the best combination of both breeds of their parents, making them the perfect match for what you are looking for, yet can’t find in a pet store. A family dog can be high energy when it wants and then lazy and love kids and naptime other times. Patience is the key when welcoming a new family member.

Consider all the factors when selecting the type of dog breed for your new family. Then once you’ve made the decision and jumped in with both feet, enjoy your loving new addition. And remember not every day will be great, much like with kids. But those days in the grand scheme of things will be far and few between. Make sure whatever decision you make, is one that’s for your family and your best interest. There will always be puppies, make sure to really take the time and decide what is best for you.

How to Teach Kids Mindfulness

by ajohnson | Sep 4, 2020 | Blog, Life, Opinion

Teaching kids mindfulness can be a very important skill they carry throughout their lives. While it’s important, not everyone realizes exactly how much of an impact it can make.

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing that you’re interested in implementing this in your home.

But where do you even start? It can be overwhelming to even imagine starting.

In this post, I’ll be going over what it is, the benefits, and how to get started. My hope is that you have some good tools under your belt upon reading.

Let’s get to it now, shall we?

How to Teach Kids Mindfulness

What is Mindfulness?

Before we can dive into it, I find it very important to understand what mindfulness even is. It’s a word that gets thrown around quite a bit, but not everyone understands it.

In short, it’s a mental state in which you are not only aware of yourself and surroundings, but you are not influenced by them.

More specifically, it means:

• Being fully present in the current moment
• Being fully aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions
• Being in complete control of how you think, act, and feel

There is a lot more to it than this, but it gives you an idea. It also includes being in a non-judgemental state to create a sense of calm.

Mindfulness Benefits for Kids

Now that you know what it is, why does it matter for kids? Isn’t this something that more adults utilize? While yes, that is true… teaching children this skill will serve as a huge asset throughout their lives.

You will see a huge difference in them not only as children, but as they grown into functioning adults in the coming years too.

Emotion Regulation

The first major benefit to mindfulness is that it will teach them to regulate their emotions. They will be able to pinpoint what emotion they’re feeling, how it manifests in their body, and how to find their center to control it.

This happens by:

• Practicing breathing techniques to calm them
• Gaining self-awareness to pinpoint what’s happening

There is much more to this but it can help with regulating anxiety, stress, and give them the ability to focus on what’s in front of them. (Which is why you might see this popping up in school a lot lately!)

Decision Making

Part of mindfulness is the ability to focus on yourself and limit influence from your environment. While this is something that is learned over time, kids can certainly learn to trust themselves to make a choice. 

It is important to note that this is more of a long-term skill that is built, much like a muscle.

Positive Mindset

With enough practice, kids will train the way their brains work. They’ll see the world in a different light and gain a more positive outlook. They will have more patience with peers, gain self confidence within themselves, and honestly become a lot happier.

This happens by:

• Reciting affirmations to build confidence
• Practicing gratitude to gain a grateful outlook
• Breathing techniques to help gain patience for siblings

Establishing a Mindful Routine

Once you understand mindfulness and the benefits, you can start establishing a routine! Having a routine is KEY if you want to make this a long-term practice.

Start with yourself, first

You absolutely need to start with yourself to set the example. You wouldn’t teach your child a new language without first knowing it yourself and it applies here too.

That said – you absolutely can learn it alongside your child to make it a family affair.

The main thing here is that you don’t want to implement it on your child without doing it yourself. You won’t be as infested in it as you won’t truly understand every aspect of it if you don’t experience it yourself.

Plus – helping yourself become more mindful is a gift too!

Let go of any expectations

After listing out the benefits, it’s easy to have an expectation of what will happen. The best thing you can do is let go of those. Do not see this as making life easier with any particular result.

Instead, approach it as a long term game that helps them in their day to day life.

Part of mindfulness is letting go of any and all expectations to cultivate a state of peace. You’ll find yourself stressed out if you try to uphold expectations.

Take it slow

Don’t try to do everything at once – it will only stress everyone out. Instead, choose 1 habit to focus on at a time and once that’s mastered, move onto the next one.

Also pay attention to your child and adjust as needed. If they truly hate a certain aspect, stop doing it. If they’re struggling, step in to help. Tweak it as needed.

Mindfulness Habits to Implement

Once you have a routine figured out, it’s time to choose what you’re going to implement first! There are a number of skills that will benefit your child, but here’s a few to get started.

Meditation

Meditation will help your child not only calm their emotions, but gain a large sense of self-discipline. This is best started as young as possible to avoid resistance as it is hard to do when you’re not used to it!

Have your child close their eyes, and take deep breaths. Once they’ve got that down, have them practice visualization as they meditate.

Some visualization ideas include:

• Picturing your thoughts leaving through the top of your head
• Imagining a ray of white light passing through your body that “spits out” rays of love to the world around you
• Picturing a bright green handle that gets brighter as you take deep breaths

For younger children, consider coming up with more creative ways to help them enjoy the experience. You can also look up guided meditations for children – there are lots of great ones out there! The insight app is a great one for kids to listen to.

Gratitude

Another practice to start is gratitude. Take a few minutes everyday to express what you’re grateful for. You can start with simple phrases such as, “I’m grateful for my sister.”

As they get this down, have them get more descriptive. What specifically happened today that made you feel grateful? What did you appreciate about that moment?

This practice helps kids learn to appreciate the world around them much more. It’s hard to be miserable when you see the world through the eyes of appreciation. 

Self-Awareness

Becoming self-aware is much like a muscle – it has to be built over time and at first, you’ll have no idea how to work it.

Start helping your child notice how they feel throughout the day. You can try saying things such as, “I can see you’re really angry right now, how does that feel in your body?” Encourage them to identify not only the emotion, but how their body feels too.

Over time, they will be able to identify this on their own.

Affirmations

Affirmations are AWESOME – they help kids get really confident. It’s a great morning routine idea, too. Make it a family habit to recite affirmation together. 

Tip: Brainstorm a list of 3-5 different ones to focus on for 30 days, then start a new set. This helps your brain really solidify what you’re telling it.

You can start with these types of affirmations:

1. I am smart
2. I am strong
3. I am capable
4. I am loved
5. I am enough
6. I am learning

Feel free to tweak them as needed to make them more suitable for your child. 

Final Thoughts

Mindfulness is such an important skill to teach kids, no matter what age they are. Mindfulness helps you to become fully aware of yourself and also your environment without being heavily influenced by it.

This skill helps kids to regulate emotions, make better decisions, cultivate a positive mindset, limit stress and anxiety, and so much more.

When you get started, take it slow and make sure you’re doing it too in order to set the example! Let go of any expectations and just go with the flow and experience it.

Start by building the habits of meditation, gratitude, affirmations, and gaining self-awareness. There are lots of habits you can implement, but these are a great start.

Do you teach your kids mindfulness? Tell us about it in the comments!