Not all of us come from a financially blessed family. Growing up, my family was put on the list of free lunch service at school, and would get donations for gifts from community members, so I know what it’s like first hand to struggle. Some of us have to work extra hard to make our ends meet and to provide for ourselves or our families. Whether it is juggling extra jobs, or working in a corporate sector, it’s a pain to drag yourself to meet your expenses. If the struggle seems familiar to you, then you know not just earning, but saving can be difficult too.
You have to be frugal; you have to think a million times before buying something and make hundreds of sacrifices to adhere to your budget. It’s all a struggle.
However, as much as challenging it is, there are some aspects we must never be frugal about. In other words, we might cut back on other expenses, but MUST NOT on these!
5 Important things you should NOT be frugal about
1. Healthcare
You cannot put a price tag on life. It’s literally priceless – all the reason why you must never try to be frugal when it comes to healthcare. There’s no doubt that healthcare is extremely expensive and not everyone can afford it. But you cannot settle for anything less.
Healthcare is not a piece of clothing you can get in for cheap at a different store. So, it’s time you understand that you cannot be frugal about it. Get health insurance, pay regular premiums, go for regular checkups, don’t ignore the warning signs, and invest in medicines that are essential for your wellbeing. Don’t try to trim your budget for that.
My dad has had Epilepsy since he was 12, so I remember growing up with pill bottle after pill bottle he would take each morning and each night on a specific schedule. He also had to go to the doctor every six months for checkups to ensure he was still managing his Epilepsy properly. He had really great healthcare because he didn’t have a choice, it was a matter of life and death. We didn’t necessarily have the same experience as kids. If something was wrong, mom would try to care for us at home first, then we would see a doctor at the last minute. I have reeling teeth problems because I didn’t go to the dentist often as a child and also didn’t have great oral hygiene instilled in me.
However, if it helps, you can avoid some medical expenses by living a healthy lifestyle. Eat clean, develop some healthy habits, and exercise regularly to ensure that your immunity is strong enough to battle diseases.
2. Education
High school education is okay, but higher education can be pretty expensive – which is why parents often spend their lives accumulating money for their kids to pay for education.
Sadly, education has become more of a business these days. But this is something you cannot control, so you cannot be frugal here. Consider education as an investment for the future. You might have to incur heavily right now, but perhaps in the next 10-15 years, you’ll recover 5x of the amount you spent.
I am proud to say I’m the first and only Bachelor’s Degree earning immediate family member of my family. I accumulated a ton of debt during the six years it took me to graduate and did so even with my oldest daughter on my hip for the last year of college. It was tough, but also important for me to finish something and set the example for my children.
You may spend your savings, or you may borrow money. However, be mindful of the amount. You still have to spare some for emergencies.
3. Good Food
Yes, you can definitely cut back on instant noodles, unnecessary sauces and spreads, and all those unhealthy food items on the grocery shelves. But you cannot cut back your expenses on healthy food.
When it comes to health – it’s precious, all the expenses are worth it if it keeps you in the best health. You cannot settle for low-quality food items that might cause you some serious health issues – it will add stress, struggle, and not to mention additional medical bills.
So, go on, don’t think twice before investing in healthy vegetables, food and dairy items. Pick the best. However, if you’re looking for even a little scope of saving, I suggest growing your own veggies, or picking different grocery stores that offer cheaper but quality food (However, don’t experiment too much). Trust me, there are no other ways.
If you are interested in growing your own veggies and fruits, I highly recommend you check out the AeroGarden. I absolutely love mine and no longer need to purchase lettuce from the store!
4. Invest in Experiences
At the end of the day, the goal is not just to survive but to live. You must have a bunch of good memories and experiences to look back on in life, and if that requires investing, it’s totally worth it. Not to mention, some good memorable experiences can make you happier. So, if something makes you happy, don’t think twice.
Save and go on multiple vacations. I know it can be extremely expensive, but once you spend quality time in a relaxing, spectacular place, it’s worth every penny. However, if you are really too tight to go on vacations, enjoy the small experiences. Go out, taste authentic delicacies, eat at fancy restaurants, have the time of your life, because you’re lucky enough that you have one to live. Be grateful! Remember, you don’t have to travel far to have an experience, I’m sure there are plenty of places you can visit around you that will create memories for a lifetime.
5. Hobbies
Once again, if it makes you happy, it’s worth every penny. Hobbies and happiness go hand in hand. Doing something that your heart lies in makes life so much worth living. So, don’t hold yourself back from investing in your hobbies.
Whether it is investing in a music class, or buying expensive canvas colors, go ahead and do it. It’s okay to do something that you like, and it’s okay to spend it on activities that provide solace to your soul. YOU MATTER.
I know these expenses can cause a lot of financial burdens. But sometimes, things are worth the money you invest in – include these five in it.
So, if you think you can, don’t hold yourself back. Accept it – they are necessary expenses.
Hey there, do you always stay frugal? What is your opinion about spending on these areas? Feel free to share your views with us in the comment section.
Do you put dresses back in the aisle because there are expenses to incur? Do you cancel your plans because your partner made both of yours without running them by you? Trust me, when it comes to making sacrifices for the sake of others’ happiness, we champion that. Not because we like to make sacrifices, but because we think doing the opposite might make someone unhappy. We cannot do that. Why? Because apparently, that’s selfish.
Well, at least that’s what we think. But here’s a piece of truth. Finding your happiness, or doing things that make you feel happy is not being selfish. If you think it is, you better not skip reading what I have to say.
7 reasons why finding happiness for yourself isn’t selfish
1. You are supposed to live your life, not just survive it
There’s a difference between surviving and living. Surviving means you are just going through life without enjoying it with no concern about happiness. A life of survival just means stress and misery. Life is too short to live this way.
So, your goal should not be survival but living. Do all the things that you love to do – even when it involves disagreeing with people. You have to listen to yourself as well, don’t be someone who looks up to the voices from outside and ignores the ones inside.
2. You are a human
You are a human; you are not a superhuman who can keep everyone happy. Trust me, keeping everyone pleased and satisfied is not possible even if it is a superpower that humans can have.
So, once in a while focus on yourself too. If you know something can make you happy – get it. Even the little things like the dress you had your eyes on but did not buy it because other family members had expenses to incur. Little things count. And if they make you happy – don’t think twice.
3. You have to save yourself
Sometimes you won’t stand up for yourself just because there’s a risk involved – hurting others and you depend on them. But trust me when I say this – if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will. You can save yourself from the fall if you push yourself up.
People who genuinely care about you won’t judge you for choosing your happiness. In fact, they’ll understand your situation. At the end of the day – happiness is a basic need.
4. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you’re disregarding others.
Don’t feel guilty about putting yourself first. It’s not a crime to think about yourself. If you are not comfortable doing something, don’t do it. At the same time, don’t think, saying “No” is equal to disregarding others’ feelings. If they feel disregarded, it speaks about their character. They might even be the toxic lot you should stay away from.
So, the next time, your colleague hands you over a pile full of files after your shift ends, say No, or if your friends force you into smoking knowing that you don’t, do not hesitate – Say NO.
5. You deserve to be taken care of – If not by others, then by yourself.
Ask yourself, are you the one who takes care of everybody? You make sacrifices for them, go the extra mile to make them happy? If yes, you’re definitely an angel. But just so you know, angels take care of themselves too.
So, if you think asking your family to be responsible for cleaning their dishes would allow you a moment of peace and rest, go ahead and speak your mind. Examples can be many but the point remains the same – it’s equally important to take care of yourself.
6. Your happiness matters too
You keep on making sacrifices, doing things you don’t want to as if your happiness is not important as that of others. But it is not true. Your happiness, your choices matter because you are the sailor of your own boat. As said before, you have to live life, not survive it. The only way to do that is to do things and make choices that make you happy.
7. Your purpose in life is not to please people
Your purpose in life might be to help people, but it’s not to please people. You don’t owe it to anybody to keep them happy and satisfied. So, you might as well live a life without bothering yourself with the task. Pleasing people is not an obligation, so stop treating it as one.
Having said that, you’re more than just a people pleaser; you’re not the manager of a restaurant who has to keep their customers happy and satisfied. So, it’s time you come to terms with reality and start finding your own happiness.
I hope these reasons changed your mind. But once again, keeping yourself first is not being selfish – it just means you’re listening to yourself. That’s not something you should be ashamed of.
Life doesn’t always keep its blessed palms over your head. Things change, tragedies happen, and you reach rock bottom. You think you can never get back, you think things will never get better. (But they always do)
Having said that, rock bottom can definitely give you a lot to deal with, like pain, suffering, hardships, that you might want to run away from every day. But the bright side is, it gives you life lessons that you couldn’t have learned any other way.
Here are some that you might relate to.
7 life lessons only rock bottom can teach you
1. What you thought were the worst days, were good days
How often have you thought you were unhappy, even when everything around you was kind of okay? I bet there are plenty of days when you cried yourself to sleep thinking life couldn’t get worse than this. But now, when you actually hit the rock bottom, were the past days not better?
Sadly, you only realize this when you reach the lowest point. You would give anything to go back to those previous days – the days you thought were the worst. And when you get out of these days, you will look back on them and realize how grateful you can be today and tomorrow with those days behind you.
2. Everything is temporary
Nothing can be permanent; not people, not the phases of life, not even good days. It’s funny how we believe that things are going to stay the same until they do not. One day you might have a roof over your head, the other day you won’t. One day you’ll have people who you thought were for a lifetime, but the next day, they vanish.
Having said that, when you reach rock bottom, tables turn. Your life witnesses a lot of transitions that you thought were possible, but you never imagined yourself being in that shoe. When you hit rock bottom, you can assess the people and things in your life and really decide if you need them, or if they were obstacles in your journey, maybe even holding you down. Once you free them and yourself, you can start to look for the light and the lessons.
3. Life can never be constant
Life is like a road. You can never drive on a smooth and straight road forever. There comes a time, when you have to drive through bumps and potholes. In simple words, things don’t remain the same, no matter how bad you want them to be. It’s a fact that you have to come to terms with.
Nonetheless, there’s still hope though. If life isn’t constant, and good days do not stay, that means, bad days won’t either. Life can never be a straight line. You learn it only after hitting the rock bottom.
My absolute favorite quote is by Coco Chanel and it says, “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” The sooner you learn this in life the better you will be when it comes to hitting rock bottom and bouncing back.
4. You have a choice, you always do
They say you are the writer of your own life. The quote has several layers to it if you think about it. You might not think you are the writer because you cannot control some things in life – especially tragedies. But at the same time, you can control how to react to those situations. (In this case, you’re the writer)
That being said, you always have a choice. That choice might not be controlling the event, but how you react. Imagine this, you are walking down the road, but you fall down. You’re injured and in pain. What can you do? You can either sit there, do nothing about it, and let the pain consume you, or you can scream, get up, and get yourself help. The choice is yours.
Thus, even when you are at rock bottom, you have the choice to stay there or get out of it, no matter what.
5. You learn new lessons even if you don’t want to
There’s a quote that goes around – “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. There is no denying that tragedies do make you stronger. You do not just gain strength but you gain lessons too. But even when you know there’s a lot to take, you’d give anything away to not learn those lessons, at least this way. In other words, you don’t want to learn things the hard way.
But then again, as we do not decide the syllabus we study, we cannot decide what lessons we learn. It’s all planned. So, we might as well accept the lessons even when we don’t want to. Always remember, the lessons are put there for a reason, and the sooner you learn and implement them, the better you will be in life.
6. You gain wisdom and maturity
Once again, you always have something to gain (even when you don’t want to). This includes wisdom and maturity. How?
It’s simple – When you hit the rock bottom, you learn how to manage things, how to get back. You gain the insights that you can use in the future to make better and wiser decisions in life. Everyone has hit rock bottom at some point in their life whether they realize it or not. Yours may have been shorter than mine or someone else’s, which doesn’t matter. What matters is how you implemented the wisdom and maturity during your time and where you took it from there.
7. You start becoming more grateful
As they say, you only discern the importance of things when you lose them. Hitting rock bottom can make you lose everything – sometimes you even lose yourself. It is only when you look back at how life used to be back then, you realize what you had was good.
So, when you rise, and things get better, you become more grateful because you knew what it felt like to lose everything and everyone you got. You begin to cherish people, cherishing moments more than ever. You have better discernment for those in your life who are there to keep you down and those who will help you back up.
Sometimes rock bottom is the best place to be to find your true self and what you are meant to do in this life. It may not seem it at the time, but the things you needed to go through are important lessons to have and learn. Once you learn them, you can move on to the next thing to build yourself back up. Trust me, rock bottom is a lesson we all have to go through at some point or another, and the lessons are essential. Hang in there, you will get through it.
6 Ways to Help your Child Overcome the Fear of Failure
We might not know what the future holds for us, but what we do know is that it holds failures. Failures are inevitable, so we might as well not be surprised if they knock on our doors. As parents, we have been down the road, we have failed, we have succeeded. In short, we have survived it all. But our children have not – they are young, and they have plenty to see in their lives – that includes both failures and successes.
But as much as how progressing failures can be (if we look at the bigger picture), failures can be extremely frightening – so much so that one may not be able to grow, or do what they should do because of the fear of failures. In other words, the fear of failures can be like a cage, and you wouldn’t want your kids to be inside it.
As parents, that’s the last thing we want for our kids.
So, if you agree, and want your child to overcome this fear, here are a few ways you can try.
6 ways to help your child overcome the fear of failure
1. Change your responses
Trust me, when it comes to failures, your responses matter a lot. Your response towards failures will shape their response towards it. Meaning, if you consider failure like the end of the world, they’ll consider the same. So, be mindful of how you react to your own failures, as well as your child’s.
For instance, if your child fails the test, don’t reprimand or punish them. If you do, it will only send one message that failure is a sin. You don’t want it to happen, do you? The right reaction in this scenario would be, “It’s okay, it’s not the end of the world. You will have another test coming. You will always have chances to score better and become better.”
2. Focus on efforts more than accomplishments
What do you do when your child wins the contest or scores well? You go out to celebrate. But what do you do when they don’t win or score excellent? You neither celebrate it nor congratulate them.
Think through. Doesn’t it in a way reinforce that failures are nothing but a disgrace? It does, and it’s high time you change it if you want your kid to overcome the fear of failure.
You can do that by focusing on your child’s efforts more than accomplishments. Every time your child achieves something, don’t congratulate them for that but congratulate them for making efforts. Even if they don’t achieve something, do the same – recognize and praise their efforts.
I have learned this first hand with Leila and her swimming because it’s such a tough sport where you literally compete for hundredths of a second time improvement or even placing. At first, it was disappointing for me when she would get disqualified for something simple seeming in my mind. I then realized she needed those moments to help her grow and learn, which became an accomplishment the next meet when she improved her time and didn’t get disqualified. We celebrate when she finishes and doesn’t get a DQ and also when she does great.
3. Be supportive of your child at all times
Sometimes, children only fear failure because they think it will disappoint their parents. But supporting them at all times can change their perspective. In other words, you don’t have to be supportive only when your child is participating in a contest, or during their exams. Instead, support them at all times.
Doing so will make your kids reassured that even if they fail, it won’t be the end of the world because their parents will be there for them, no matter what.
Again, another swim lesson I learned. The very first time Leila got a DQ at a meet, I was so concerned with what happened, I didn’t realize how she felt and how she thought I was disappointed in her. I was sad for her more than anything because she just swam an amazing race and she didn’t have anything to show for it more than disappointed in her! But my tone and questions made it seem I was disappointed not sad. Sometimes we have to look at our tone more than our other actions.
4. Encourage them to focus on finding solutions
There are two types of people in the world – Type one, those who consider failures as the end of the world, and type two are those who don’t let their emotions take over the control, and focus on finding solutions.
So, you guessed it right, you have to train your child to be in the second category. Let them know that failures don’t matter as much as our reactions. Don’t let them associate failures with incapability, instead consider failure as an opportunity to make things right.
Now, when Leila gets a DQ (thank goodness less often), she knows what she can work on in practice and come back the next meet stronger and better. She doesn’t let it stop her and even makes her a better swimmer and person because of it.
5. Let them know there’s no success without failure
The world talks of the final success, but no one talks of the journey in between. In other words, there’s no success without failures, and you have to let your child know that. If they didn’t win a race, it doesn’t mean they won’t ever.
As said before, perceive failures as a sign to become better and correct your mistakes, when you do that, it’s a given that you will do things right.
Success story for Leila — she got a Disqualification in her 100 meter butterfly in January and in February she cut enough time to place in the top 10 but also qualified her for the Junior Olympics meet, which she needed to cut about 20 seconds to qualify for. If she didn’t get the disqualification in January, she probably wouldn’t have improved her technique enough to cut all that time to qualify the next month in the same event! Not only did the disqualification help her in the 100 butterfly, it also helped her improve her time in the 50 meter butterfly!
6. Share your own stories
Sometimes, it feels good to know that you’re not the only one. Likewise, it might make your child feel better if they realize that they are not the only ones who didn’t do well or failed. There are millions like them – and that includes you. If you have a story to share, feel free to do that. Inspire them with your stories, or of others, you know.
Turn back the dial; go into the past, and think of the moments in life you felt that everything is going downhill. But you didn’t give up, and you just turned out fine.
I believe failure is a lifelong process for which we as parents have a lifetime to help our children get over that fear. Heck, there are probably some things to this day you are afraid to fail of, I know I have things I am afraid to fail! No one is perfect, but the quicker we help our children understand that failure is part of the process and how much we can learn from it, the better they will be in the long run. So don’t forget to share your own stories of failure and be supportive when they do fail. Be patient in the process and even celebrate the failures as much as the successes!
We all love to travel – to be away from the stressful life, toxic people; and stay in the most peaceful state of mind. There are a million reasons I can list down, but what can I say we are running against the clock, so I’ll stick to one.
We love traveling, most importantly because we take with us a lot of memories of the places we visited, and the moments we spent. You might as well agree – glad you do. But take a moment and wonder, what we leave behind?
Frankly speaking, nothing but damage and ignorance. Environmentally speaking, if you count on the waste we generate for the environment and the resources we use in abundance as if we would never run out of them, it’s just too much to ignore. Culturally speaking, we hand in our neglect to the communities’ services and culture.
So, if you haven’t had a chance to think this through, but you do agree, here are some tips you can follow to become a more responsible traveler.
Tips for being a more responsible traveler
1. Respect Locals
You might have paid for the services and experience you are getting, but it’s no reason to feel that you’re entitled or you’re doing them a favor. If you feel that way, then it is a very toxic approach, and you need to change that.
Nevertheless, the service providers, locals, and the culture deserve your respect. This includes being on your best behavior that doesn’t cause inconvenience to them. For instance, you cannot take photos of locals without their approval. At the same time, you cannot complain about the food to the locals who serve you with love and admiration. Everybody’s human and humans make mistakes. It’s okay. You don’t have to be hard on them.
2. Respect the culture
With different cultures as yours, come different mindsets. You might not be on the same page with the other culture, but it doesn’t mean you show disrespect or voice out your opinion in front of them. You are the guest, and you have to live by the rules.
For instance, when you are in a temple, or any other religious place, follow the culture or abide by the simple rules. Be mindful of your tone, language, and dress-up. Do it to respect the culture, even if you have different beliefs.
3. Enjoy cultural experiences
The locals love it when you devote your time and energy to have a taste of their culture. They give it all to provide a memorable, exotic, and authentic cultural experience.
Thus, for any local, it feels good to see that you are enjoying it. It’s a moment of pride for them
Thus, to be a responsible citizen, all you have to do is embrace their culture for as long as you are there. This is for international as well as domestic travel. Living in a heavy tourist state and area like Arizona, we have a vast local culture that is influenced by Native Americans as well as people who have moved here from all over the country to live and provide for those visiting. This can include little things like,
Shopping for cultural souvenirs.
Going in for cultural experiences like joining a local tour, trying out traditions.
Talk politely and lovingly to locals. Pass a smile, and words of encouragement and appreciation.
Learn their language.
Respect their dress codes.
Bargain respectfully when you are shopping from locals.
4. Avail local services
The big business and commerce tycoons don’t care if you enjoy their products and services. But locals do. Call it their modesty or humbleness but they don’t see you as outsiders, they see you as their own – which reflects in their services.
Ergo, it’s always wiser to opt for local services – this includes choosing local markets over malls, eating out at local restaurants instead of Burger King and McDonald’s. Not only it brings them joy but it also helps their economy and their lifestyle.
The cherry on the cake is, it’s environmentally friendly as well. You reduce the carbon footprint by opting out of services that heavily consume and exploit resources.
5. Conserve resources
No one likes a heavy electricity bill, locals don’t either. Not to mention, resources are scarce, no matter which part of the world’s resources you use. We have to protect them for the sake of mankind, together.
Here are a few tips that can help
Don’t exploit your hotel’s resources – this includes electricity and as little things as paper napkins and toilet paper.
Watch your step – don’t step on little plants and flowers.
Walk or use public transport as much as you can.
Don’t ask for plastic bottles, paper, or plastic bags, carry your own.
6. Give out tips, provide financial help
Not everybody has money. You might be fortunate enough, but the locals or the people who serve you might not be. They might share a smile with you, but who knows if they’re struggling to make their ends meet.
Having said that, being generous with tips can help them tremendously. If you think you can do more, you can even find local ethnicities, or foundations to donate a generous amount to them. Who knows if your kindness can make someone’s life better?
Lastly, remember – You don’t owe anything to anybody, but you owe the environment, culture, and most importantly, yourself to become a responsible traveler.
when it comes to healthcare. There’s no doubt that healthcare is extremely expensive and not everyone can afford it. But you cannot settle for anything less.
spend their lives accumulating money for their kids to pay for education.
cannot settle for low-quality food items that might cause you some serious health issues – it will add stress, struggle, and not to mention additional medical bills.
and experiences to look back on in life, and if that requires investing, it’s totally worth it. Not to mention, some good memorable experiences can make you happier. So, if something makes you happy, don’t think twice.
something that your heart lies in makes life so much worth living. So, don’t hold yourself back from investing in your hobbies.
enjoying it with no concern about happiness. A life of survival just means stress and misery. Life is too short to live this way.
depend on them. But trust me when I say this – if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will. You can save yourself from the fall if you push yourself up.
to make them happy? If yes, you’re definitely an angel. But just so you know, angels take care of themselves too.
there are plenty of days when you cried yourself to sleep thinking life couldn’t get worse than this. But now, when you actually hit the rock bottom, were the past days not better?
light and the lessons. 
not think you are the writer because you cannot control some things in life – especially tragedies. But at the same time, you can control how to react to those situations. (In this case, you’re the writer)
maturity. How?
their response towards it. Meaning, if you consider failure like the end of the world, they’ll consider the same. So, be mindful of how you react to your own failures, as well as your child’s.
at all times can change their perspective. In other words, you don’t have to be supportive only when your child is participating in a contest, or during their exams. Instead, support them at all times.
success without failures, and you have to let your child know that. If they didn’t win a race, it doesn’t mean they won’t ever.
you’re entitled or you’re doing them a favor. If you feel that way, then it is a very toxic approach, and you need to change that.
provide a memorable, exotic, and authentic cultural experience.
reflects in their services.
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