Parenthood can be the greatest blessing for anyone, but it cannot be denied that it can take a toll on your mental health – especially in the beginning. This is when you have to take things into your own hands. You have to know that you will have people you can call upon for help, but knowing you can get through it by slowing down and enjoying the little moments will help you remember them when the kids aren’t so little anymore.
Even when parenthood can feel overwhelming, you have to find ways to enjoy it. Here’s how you can do it.
10 simple ways to slow down and actually enjoy parenting
1. Be present in the moment
Staying present in the moment can prove to be a distraction you’ll need. Moreover, staying in the present or
The moments you might think are the most dull and not important will actually be the ones your kids talk about year after year, and tell their kids about. So don’t glaze over a simple lunch or dinner or practice and think it’s nothing. It’s everything to them and you may be able to enjoy something new they learned that day.
2. Spend time in nature
You might not love nature as Wordsworth did, but you’d love nature enough to know staying around it would
Thus, try to go out for a walk in the park every day. Take your kid along – kids enjoy nature too. You can also go for some proper nature visits – perhaps a lake, river, waterfall, or a hill station near you with your family. The more you can get your and your kids’ energy out, the better you all will feel for ensuring you are able to relax and enjoy the joys of parenting. I find when I go in nature or even clear my head, I’m more patient with our girls.
3. Have me-time
The secret to peace and happiness is some time spent with oneself. Thus, a little me-time can help you a lot. But then again, you may not find time for it. Trust me; you don’t need hours for it. Even if you get 10-15 minutes of free time, that would do. Just don’t use it to scroll your phone.
Personally, I prefer to get a workout in, either a run, some yoga, or a spin class. I then do some weight training and stretching to get some of the anger out if it’s still there after the cardio. I know for me, when I don’t have days where I can get a workout in, I’m more short-tempered, I have to take more breaks and deep breaths because my fuse is shorter, and I can’t enjoy the everyday activities as much. And my girls know it’s important to me and my mental health but also my physical health so I can play and keep up with them.
4. Stay connected with your friends
Things change after you become a parent – your whole world starts to revolve around your children and your
But, don’t let it happen. Stay connected with your friends because you need to stay connected with your former life in order to feel like yourself. It’s easier if you have friends that also have children, but always incorporate your kids when you can, into your friendships. I find when my girls know who my friends are, they are able to form a relationship and carry on a conversation with my friends and other adults much better and aren’t as shy.
It might make you feel that even when things have changed, you still have your old life.
5. Master the skill of time-management
The root of all problems is that you don’t find time to relax and unwind. A little time management can save the day. Here are some dos and don’ts.
- Don’t try to multitask. Do one thing at a time.
- Don’t spread chores throughout the day. Finish them in the first half so you can have the rest of the day to yourself.
- Don’t do the same chores every day. A one or two-day gap in between won’t be the end of the world.
- Challenge yourself into finishing your chores faster. Use a timer.
- Draw some boundaries.
6. Do things that you love to do
If you think peace is distant from you, doing things that you love can shorten the distance tremendously. You’ll
Don’t feel guilty wanting to do things you love either. It took me a long time to really start working out and doing other things I love after my girls were born because I thought I should be pouring everything into them instead of also taking care of me. The more I did the things I love, the better my relationship with them came and the feeling of guilt and resentment went away. And don’t be afraid to say you resent or are angry at your children, it’s a common feeling and something I don’t think many of us actually talk about. We as Moms change our entire lives to give birth and raise our children and are expected to just forget everything we did before them.
It’s common to think we would have those feelings until we realize we can still do things we loved before kids and find the time to do them after our kids are here. We no longer need to wait until they are out of the house or even out of diapers to start doing what we love again. Feel your feelings and then get on with doing what you love. It will help them subside much faster, promise.
7. Always look at the bright side of the things
Parenthood can bring a lot of breakdowns to the surface. But the only way to keep going on is to look at the positive things. If you want to cry about how your life has changed, think of how much you have grown. You’re managing everything while taking care of your kid passionately. These are the things you have to be proud of.
Tying into the previous tip, you always have to look on the bright side. The other side is where sadness and anger can live, and we don’t want that, especially for your child(ren) who did nothing wrong and don’t deserve to be the brunt of your emotions. I’ve always been a glass half full kind of person and the same thing carries over into parenting.
Moreover, tell yourself it’s not going to be the same always. Things will definitely change in a year or two.
8. Encourage your partner to contribute
You are not the only parent, so encourage your partner to contribute the same way. For instance, if your child cries a lot at night, draw up a schedule as to who of the two will take care of the child in such an instance. If today is your turn, then the next turn would be of your partner’s.
9. Maintain a journal
Trust me, when it comes to parenthood, you’ll have plenty to vent out. So, if you don’t have a friend to listen to every day, turn back to journaling. Just write down what you feel – be as raw and as honest. You’ll feel better in the end.
10. Lastly, ask for help
There’s no shame in asking for help. Parenting can be overwhelming, so it’s understandable if you ask for help – you can perhaps hire a nanny, go for a daycare service. You can even talk to a therapist if you think parenting is taking a toll on you.
The most important thing to remember is the world doesn’t have a perfect parent, they don’t exist. So do your best, try not to worry about the judgement or “advice” others try to give, and be there for your children because they are the ones who really matter most. If you ever need a shoulder to cry and ear to listen, know I’m here and the comments are open for you.
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