7 Life Lessons Only Rock Bottom can Teach You

by ajohnson | Mar 20, 2022 | Blog, Life, Opinion

Life doesn’t always keep its blessed palms over your head. Things change, tragedies happen, and you reach rock bottom. You think you can never get back, you think things will never get better. (But they always do)

Having said that, rock bottom can definitely give you a lot to deal with, like pain, suffering, hardships, that you might want to run away from every day. But the bright side is, it gives you life lessons that you couldn’t have learned any other way.

Here are some that you might relate to.

7 life lessons only rock bottom can teach you

1. What you thought were the worst days, were good days

How often have you thought you were unhappy, even when everything around you was kind of okay? I bet there are plenty of days when you cried yourself to sleep thinking life couldn’t get worse than this. But now, when you actually hit the rock bottom, were the past days not better?

Sadly, you only realize this when you reach the lowest point. You would give anything to go back to those previous days – the days you thought were the worst. And when you get out of these days, you will look back on them and realize how grateful you can be today and tomorrow with those days behind you. 

2. Everything is temporary

Nothing can be permanent; not people, not the phases of life, not even good days. It’s funny how we believe that things are going to stay the same until they do not. One day you might have a roof over your head, the other day you won’t. One day you’ll have people who you thought were for a lifetime, but the next day, they vanish.

Having said that, when you reach rock bottom, tables turn. Your life witnesses a lot of transitions that you thought were possible, but you never imagined yourself being in that shoe. When you hit rock bottom, you can assess the people and things in your life and really decide if you need them, or if they were obstacles in your journey, maybe even holding you down. Once you free them and yourself, you can start to look for the light and the lessons. 

3. Life can never be constant

Life is like a road. You can never drive on a smooth and straight road forever. There comes a time, when you have to drive through bumps and potholes. In simple words, things don’t remain the same, no matter how bad you want them to be. It’s a fact that you have to come to terms with.

Nonetheless, there’s still hope though. If life isn’t constant, and good days do not stay, that means, bad days won’t either. Life can never be a straight line. You learn it only after hitting the rock bottom. 

My absolute favorite quote is by Coco Chanel and it says, “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” The sooner you learn this in life the better you will be when it comes to hitting rock bottom and bouncing back.

4. You have a choice, you always do

They say you are the writer of your own life. The quote has several layers to it if you think about it. You might not think you are the writer because you cannot control some things in life – especially tragedies. But at the same time, you can control how to react to those situations. (In this case, you’re the writer)

That being said, you always have a choice. That choice might not be controlling the event, but how you react. Imagine this, you are walking down the road, but you fall down. You’re injured and in pain. What can you do? You can either sit there, do nothing about it, and let the pain consume you, or you can scream, get up, and get yourself help. The choice is yours.

Thus, even when you are at rock bottom, you have the choice to stay there or get out of it, no matter what.

5. You learn new lessons even if you don’t want to

There’s a quote that goes around – “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. There is no denying that tragedies do make you stronger. You do not just gain strength but you gain lessons too. But even when you know there’s a lot to take, you’d give anything away to not learn those lessons, at least this way. In other words, you don’t want to learn things the hard way.

But then again, as we do not decide the syllabus we study, we cannot decide what lessons we learn. It’s all planned. So, we might as well accept the lessons even when we don’t want to. Always remember, the lessons are put there for a reason, and the sooner you learn and implement them, the better you will be in life.

6. You gain wisdom and maturity

Once again, you always have something to gain (even when you don’t want to). This includes wisdom and maturity. How?

It’s simple – When you hit the rock bottom, you learn how to manage things, how to get back. You gain the insights that you can use in the future to make better and wiser decisions in life. Everyone has hit rock bottom at some point in their life whether they realize it or not. Yours may have been shorter than mine or someone else’s, which doesn’t matter. What matters is how you implemented the wisdom and maturity during your time and where you took it from there. 

7. You start becoming more grateful

As they say, you only discern the importance of things when you lose them. Hitting rock bottom can make you lose everything – sometimes you even lose yourself. It is only when you look back at how life used to be back then, you realize what you had was good.

So, when you rise, and things get better, you become more grateful because you knew what it felt like to lose everything and everyone you got. You begin to cherish people, cherishing moments more than ever. You have better discernment for those in your life who are there to keep you down and those who will help you back up. 

Sometimes rock bottom is the best place to be to find your true self and what you are meant to do in this life. It may not seem it at the time, but the things you needed to go through are important lessons to have and learn. Once you learn them, you can move on to the next thing to build yourself back up. Trust me, rock bottom is a lesson we all have to go through at some point or another, and the lessons are essential. Hang in there, you will get through it.

7 Powerful Ways to Respond When your Child Complains

by ajohnson | Mar 16, 2022 | Blog, Life, Opinion

Your kid can be your little munchkins, sugar candies, the apple of your eyes, and whatnot. But when they are complaining, and creating a mess of things, they can be a nightmare to deal with. Leaving you no other choice than to admit defeat.

It is okay if it happens once or twice, but you cannot do it all the time. I mean, you cannot buy them an expensive toy, if it’s out of your budget. That being said, not all their demands are reasonable, and if you fulfill them all, you might be making your child stubborn and adding more trouble for yourself.

Thus, you have to know how to handle your child when they complain or demand something. If you don’t address this when they are young, it can continue into their childhood and teen years, trust me, I’m going through it right now as well. Here are some tips to get us all through: 

7 powerful ways to respond when your child complains

1. Listen to them

Even if you don’t agree with your child’s demands or complaints, the least you can do is give them the satisfaction that you listened.

Doing otherwise, responding without listening can make them feel unappreciated and undervalued. As a positive parent, you cannot afford to do that. But at the same time, it does mean you must submit to their demands to make them feel valued. Ergo, the wise thing is to just listen to them – not to respond, but to understand their demand and perspective.

2. Set time limits

Sometimes, kids might not make demands for new toys, but they whine and complain about other things that might be equally unreasonable. Complaining is valid on their part because, like any human being, it feels good to let out. So, allow them to do that by setting time limits. I let our girls go a maximum of five minutes to complain about something, and then I ask them to stop and forget about it. It usually doesn’t even last that long, because what they complain about isn’t life altering. 

3. Provide them with a choice

If you do not agree with their demand, provide them with an alternative if you can. Taking the same example – If you think an expensive toy is out of the question, settle for something else that your kid might enjoy. Perhaps a similar yet cheaper option or a trip to their favorite place.

Go on about it like this, “I wouldn’t be able to get you that toy, but if you’d like to go to a carnival, I can take you out. Think – this is the only thing you can get.”

Providing them with a choice, wouldn’t make them think that they’re powerless.

“We are only going to talk about it for five minutes. So, you have only 5 minutes to discuss. Beyond which we won’t touch the same topic. We can talk about something else, and have a healthy discussion”

4. Be mindful of how you respond

When dealing with kids, you have to be very mindful of what you say and what you do, as it can hurt children. For instance, if you don’t agree with a demand, don’t scream at your kid. Handle the situation smartly. The last thing you would want them to think is that they are not loved and understood.

Moreover, even if you don’t reprimand them, you still have to be careful with your words. Using positive words would make the situation easier to handle without any repercussions.

At the same time, having a playful approach can do wonders. Try to make them laugh.

5. Empathize with kids

Sometimes, even though you find your kid’s demand unreasonable, it can be sourced from something very human and affectionate. So, your job is to recognize the source.

For instance, if you find your kid begging you to take a day off from work to take them to a zoo, it might not necessarily be because they want to visit the place, but because they feel distant from you. It can be possible that you might not be giving them enough time lately, and it can be the reason they’re acting out.

6. Tell them your side/ your opinion

If you don’t agree with their demands, tell them why. Don’t leave them hanging. Giving them a reason would communicate to them that you heard them, but are helpless or have your own reasons.

For instance, taking the example in point 5, tell them why you cannot take them out to the zoo. Tell them you have a meeting ahead, and a busy day at work. Offer them another day you might be able to take them to the zoo or do something else with you to make the connection closer again. 

7. Lastly, Offer them a distraction

When nothing works – give them a distraction. The trick has worked for generations, it might work for you as well. However, do make sure that you do this as a last resort. Meaning ensuring that you first listen to their demands, empathize with them, give them the choice, offer them your reason and your opinion, and then try this method.

For instance, if your kid is demanding a new expensive toy in the middle of the mall, but it is out of your budget, distract them with a different scene, for instance, a mall decoration, or any kid nearby. Trust me when it comes to it, there are a million distractions you can use.

We all go through the complaining phase at one time or another with our children, and it’s our job as parents to ensure our child is being heard and acknowledged for their concerns but within a certain timeframe. It’s important to not let them get carried away, or coerce you into something you know isn’t necessary. Try to distract them with something else or offer an alternative if you are not able to give them exactly what they want. At the end of the day, you are doing great and know we all go through it one time or another! 

How to Make a Budget when you are Terrible with Money

by ajohnson | Mar 8, 2022 | Blog, Life, Opinion

Do you always wonder why and how your money disappears? As if it has some kind of superpower to disappear with a poof? If the struggle seems familiar to you, perhaps you are not doing budgeting right, or perhaps you are not practicing budgeting at all.

But once again, for budgeting, you need to be good with money. I bet that’s your line of thought and probably the excuse you use to not do budgeting at all – you think it’s impossible for a person like you who’s terrible with money.

But here’s a truth bomb alert. You are terrible with money only because you’re not good at money management. To make the wrong right, budgeting is a sure-shot solution.

It’s not rocket science or chemistry equations you never solved right. Budgeting is easy – even when you think you are bad with money. Allow me to guide you through as someone who has never been good with a budget but finally figured it out!

How to make a budget when you are terrible with money

1. Before making any cuts, calculate your monthly expenses

It all comes down to knowing where you spend and how much you spend in a month. For that to happen, ditch the “I’ll record the expenses later.” Notion. It’s not a great idea, as you won’t be able to remember each and every expense you paid for – especially cash transactions. So, make it a habit to record every transaction then and there.

Now I know, you wouldn’t be able to carry your laptop along with you, but you can carry a notepad or write it down in your phone’s notes. Make it a routine.

2. Categorize these expenses

When you are done recording your expenses, categorize them. For instance, any expenses on fruits and veggies would go in the grocery category, and so on. Once you are done categorizing each expense, see which of these expenses can afford adjustments. For instance, cutting down on grocery and shopping is possible, but fixed expenses such as rent, insurance premiums cannot be adjusted.  

Now, you know which areas of expenses you can make cuts and adjustments in and which are not adjustable. 

3. Prioritize paying debts

Now to determine how much you can cut, you have to know what other expenses you have to prioritize. This includes paying debts. Some people don’t consider paying debts important enough – but it’s a very disastrous road to take. When you take money, it is your obligation to pay the people back – even when they don’t ask for it. So, prioritize paying your debts.

You would not be able to pay all debts together. So, it’s better to pay in little installments every month. Let your budget reflect debt payment – in fact, it would be better to reserve some portion of your monthly salary towards it.

Trust me, it’s better to be done with debts. You won’t just avoid troubles, but spare yourself a poor credit score and added interest.

4. Create reserves for necessary expenditures

It is not only essential from the perspective of your budget but for the future as well. Necessary expenses can include education expenses, health expenses, and so on. It’s better to maintain reserves for these because a good education is vital and health is more than important. (You cannot trust time to keep its blessed hand on you forever.)

Let’s not forget about accidents, loss of work, or vehicle expenses. All of these things can pop up quickly and put you in more trouble if you don’t have a reserve to let you get to work or school still.

5. Start with cutting down in one area of expenses (See how much you need to cut)

Now that everything is done, it’s time to take action. You can start with one category of expense – say grocery. Try to cut your grocery expenses by 20% if you are just starting out. For instance, if your monthly grocery budget is $200, bring it down to $160. Surely there are things you can still get within the budget, and enjoy your life. Maybe you have stock in the pantry or refrigerator you can use as a substitute instead of pushing it back further on the shelf. Every little bit helps, especially if you are short on space and have a reserve already. 

6. Gradually, try to reduce in every area

Once you successfully meet the new budget, gradually go to the next categories of expenses. If you thought that you didn’t save much in one category, you’ll see the difference when you combine all categories of expenses.

As said before, try to cut down these expenses by 20% to see results. If you have one area you can completely cut but struggle to cut to 20% in another area but still stay in budget, know it’s ok. You still have to enjoy your life, not resent your budget. It can be something small also, it doesn’t have to be a huge expense. 

7. Make lifestyle expenses

There’s no point in making a budget when you don’t make the necessary adjustments to actually stick to the budget. You have to accept that if you are to do budget and saving right, you have to make some adjustments – whether it is sacrificing weekly dinners at lavish restaurants or expensive breakfast options to pamper your taste buds. Actions are mandatory – no pain, no gain, right?

The more you are able to shift but make it comfortable so you can sustain, the better the future will be. I don’t recommend cutting out everything which will make you hate every day because that will keep any blessings away.

8. Make room for investments

Now with all the savings in hand, you can put it to wise use. A wise utilization won’t be keeping all the saved money in your bank account, instead, a wise call would be using some of that money to make investments to increase your wealth for the future.

If you want maximum returns, investing in the stock market is the option. However, if you’d like to start slow and safe, investing in SIP and Mutual funds can be a safe bet. If you want to save for retirement or another thing, setting up a meeting with a financial advisor might be a good place to start if you are new. They can point you in the right direction and help you understand what will work for what you want and how long. 

While it may seem daunting, creating and following a budget is doable once you break it down into manageable steps. Start by calculating your monthly expenses and then categorize them into necessary and discretionary spending. Prioritize paying off your debts and then create reserves for other necessary expenditures like rent or groceries. Gradually try to reduce all of your expenses, even your lifestyle ones, until you have room to invest in yourself or save for the future. Implementing just one of these tips can help get you started on the path to better money management. Do you have trouble saving money or budgeting? Which tip helped you get started? Let us know in the comments below!